Komrij's Patentwekker (Komrij's patented alarm clock) is a book of humorous poetry by Dutch author Gerrit Komrij, first published in 1974. The book contains four poems which outline a fictional invention—an alarm clock that consists of a burning candle inserted in the sleeper's anus, containing markings for each hour to be spent sleeping. The deeper the candle is inserted, the earlier the sleeper rises; the inventor acquires a patent on his idea. The four poems are formalist, like the rest of Komrij's poetry. They have three quatrains each, rhyming a b a b in pentametric lines.
The poems are inspired by a suggestion in Non Olet by Collofino (ps. of Josef Feinhals, 1867–1947). They were first published (apparently without the author's permission) in a series called Amsterdamse Cahiers by Amsterdam printer and publisher C.J. Aarts, supposedly on the occasion of the 1974 edition of Poetry International, an annual Dutch poetry festival. He late